I had another ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. My large thyroid cyst is gone. That's the good news. But there is still a little area of calcification on the right lobe of my thyroid where the cyst once was. And now there are two very small cysts on the left lobe of my thyroid. And some more calcification. That is not good news. Calcification is not a good thing. Calcification and carcinoma can go hand in hand and carcinoma in any context is a frightening word. When the nurse calls from the doctor's office and says, "Dr. Huang would like for you to come in to discuss your ultrasound and your options," it is not a good sign. I had two options: continued monitoring OR surgery. I told the doctor I was not the sort of person who was going to leap on the table and have surgery and she told me she liked my conservative approach. But she seemed relieved when I picked surgery.
So sometime in mid-January my thyroid will be removed. I will have to allow a stranger to mess with my neck with a knife. That will be the hardest part. I do not like to have my neck touched. Or cut. Or squeezed. I like it when my wife kisses my neck. She is the only one I trust. Otherwise, I do not even like to wear shirts that button at the throat.
The surgery is routine (aren't they all?), but there can be problems. Vocal cord paralysis (complete or partial) from nerve damage is one possible side effect. Partial paralysis would turn my voice hoarse for the rest of my life. The other would be worse. I told the doctor I would be unable to survive without being able to talk. My brain pumps out words the way artesian wells pump water. I do not speak, I overflow. I told her how words build up in me. I told her she would have to be very careful in removing my thyroid because I would smother under the weight of the unspoken words in my head if I could not get them out.
So there will be Christmas, then New Year's, then throat-cutting. Then maybe we can talk about it.